Why was I not told about Battle Hamsters?

Kids toys have always been best when inspired by LSD or scary animals or both.

Think about it – Voltron, Hungry,Hungry Hippos, Mouse Trap, The Game of Life  (They were Catholics weren’t they, those reproducing pegs?)

And today I discovered what rodent-related joy the kids of today are being delivered.

Battle Hamsters!

The limited edition Ninja Hamster range - with armour on, obviously

It gave me one of those moments where I wished my nine-month-old was seven and I could get into kids toys all over again.

It’s some kind of bizarro Japanese-made pet that doesn’t need feeding but does attack at will. Looks like you put them in a ring – Imagine the ad voiceover: “Just like a cock-fight kids!” “Aww yeah dad, awesome!” – and you let them go each other, hamster on hamster, to the death. Am I missing anything? Is this not the coolest thing since Ulysses?

Check the video…

Note: These are not to be confused with the less violent and therefore less enjoyable range of Hamsters toys with the names;

NumNums

Num Nums indeed

I was glad to learn these kids can still be tricked out.

Just add Zhu Zhu Rockstar punk hair implants!

rockstar hamster hair

Make me a kid again now

Facebook delivers best reviews of ‘Farmer Needs A Wife’

Here are my favourite comments from the Channel 9 Facebook page tonight which rather foolishly suggested;

“It’s impossible not to love Farmer Wants a Wife. Shall we spread the Word?”

The commenting viewers chose to spread hilarious vitriol instead…

Robert Frederick Brewer impossible aye? well guess what. I can’t stand it and wont watch it. So there you go. Not impossible.

Leigh Fletcher I’d rather watch My Kitchen Rules facebook.com/MyKitchenRules

Jeff Gehrig I’m with you. Yet another example of 9 ignoring what the audience wants.

Warren Leadbeatter Ha! I’m not watching that shit either!

Nathan Retzlaff some of the sheilas look like the cows in the paddock

Rebecca March I am watching it for the first time, it’s so awkward!

Shannon Butler Should be called “The viewers need a life” .

For the record, I didn’t watch it as I am rather into My Kitchen Rules – at least I was until the unveiled ‘Group 2’ tonight, doubling the contestants and halving my commitment – but if the Farmer show appeals to you, go check out http://channelnine.ninemsn.com.au/thefarmerwantsawife/ if only to count the clichés.

 

And Channel 9 people, leaving your facebook page open for anyone to post on your wall is, evidently, an invitation for anyone to air their grievances on a popular and seemingly unmoderated public billboard – rarely a good branding exercise.

But a satisfying read, nonetheless.

Keybored

As a web producer I need to find generic images for about ten different stories every day.

Often those stories relate to the internet, or websites, or online activities like shopping, dating or avoiding viruses. Have you ever thought about how hard it is to find a unique picture for that? No?

Well, don’t bother. It’s no more interesting than it sounds.

But, many people give up too soon and clichés abound – which I must now expose.

The biggest theme among internet image clichés is the photoshopped-keyboard key.

Here’s a range of pics that are either so pitiful I hope they are tongue-in-cheek or they are simply a bad reflection on web producers everywhere.

We know sleep isn't normally there, but why is there nothing on any other keys?

Daft. What would happen when I press 'SHOP' anyway? A BUY button maybe.

I see, it's for Online Dating, or finding love online. And 'desperate' was too long to fit.

Ha! Commit your whole life to someone in one key-stroke. I guess pressing Esc gets you a DIVORCE.

 

Brand keyboard sends you direct to company websites. But Coke?

This is a funny idea. But it was stolen from Homer Simpson.

FYI - If you're having trouble on the Internet, F1 usually brings up the Help menu.

If there was a HELP key, as big as the spacebar, I think it deserves to be IN CAPS.

This picture is actually instructional. Unless you type PLEH

You will need real help after you start swallowing keys in frustration at the Windows Help menu.

 

Now we're talking. This kind of keyboard could actually save time - for teens who have already lost touch with gramar anyhow.

Emoticon KeyPad! Who needs an antiquated alphabet to express emotions!

 

The Escape key is escaping! Is this clever? Not even slightly. Plus, he won't get far when you press him and breaks his little legs.

 

 

There’s just so much fluff

I don’t know if there is a rule against filming inside people’s homes when they are open for inspection, but I have done it for some time.

There's just so much fluff

Fluffy Clutter

It’s only worthwhile when the houses have fantastic originality or good design ideas, but occasionally, like in the Balmain home below, they have quirks that are beyond belief.

This was a home of Pacific Islanders – who have long since moved out – with a serious passion for clutter, organised, sentimental and often fluffy clutter.

 

I have long been fascinated with the homes you pass by with possessions lining the verandahs and the door jammed open, often because it just can’t close.

A friend from school once took me into his mother’s room where she had magazines and papers piled higher than our heads. We stood before the madness sharing ideas on why she kept it all.

I am still none the wiser.

Social Not-working

My review of The Social Network

This film should really have left me feeling better about something. Even if it were just liking the director or writer more than I already did. Did, in the past tense.

But I had no such luck when I saw The Social Network last night. I found the film flaccid, indulgent and it confirmed Aaron Sorkin has a bag of chips on his shoulder.

The film was an uninteresting tale, written well enough that you nearly didn’t notice how dry the subject matter or acting was, and all designed to attract a ready-made audience of 500million registered users.

The machine that makes movies just combined a few skilled tradesmen and spat out a palatable, marketable 90 minutes of slick pap.

Then, Sorkin appeared at the Golden Globes and said something that made my stomach literally churn…

“‘And I want to thank all the female nominees tonight for helping demonstrate to my young daughter that elite is not a bad word, it’s an aspirational one. Honey, look around, smart girls have more fun, and you’re one of them.'”

As this blog (http://criticalnarrative.blogspot.com/2011/01/hollywoods-aaron-sorkin-elite-is-not.html) says,

Hmm. I wonder what Sorkin thinks of the word “pretentious”?